I recently met a person that reminded me a lot of myself a few years ago. It's like looking into a mirror that takes you back in time. And it made me think about the things I learned since then, especially in how I behave and interact with others. Three notes to myself, reminding me not to fall back into old habits.

If you feel like no one's listening, it's probably because you're still talking

You think you're not being heard? People don't react on your ideas? It's probably because you don't give them enough space to express themselves! If you listen to what happens around you and all you hear is your own voice, it's time to take a step back and keep quiet. That's hard, and uncomfortable. But if you let people get out of themselves you will most likely learn more and be more effective in reacting to their ideas, concerns, or issues.

True confidence is when you don't need to be the centre of the conversation

You like being admired for what you know and correct people for every mistake they make? You feel underappreciated if you don't get a chance to contribute to a conversation equally? You only enjoy being in a group when you feel confirmation and acknowledgement? Even if people around you say that they think you're very self-confident, I think you know that you're probably not. The loud and joking attitude you display hides your true self. The path to true confidence is a long one, but before embarking on the journey you need to acknowledge that you're probably not as confident as you thought.

Your actions will be remembered, you're intentions won't

You may be a really nice guy with good intentions. But as long as you keep displaying those behaviours hardly anyone will get a chance to see that. All they will remember is how they experienced you - as that one guy in the group of which everyone else was annoyed after a day. And as the guy of which they made fun, behind your back of course.

_____________________________________________

Please share your comments and inputs (via comment function, twitter, e-mail, etc.). In my short write-ups I address topics that I am particularly interested in because they align with my values and beliefs. As such, they are always a reflection of my ideas, thoughts, and opinions. The only thing I am positive in that regard is that I do not have all the perspectives, all the knowledge, or all the facts - help me be better tomorrow.